Writing by Alexia Bruijlants // Photograph by Chiara Baldassarri
I’ve always been a firm believer in the quote, “everything will work out eventually.”
For as long as I can remember, I’ve always had a very turbulent life. I’ve had my ups and I’ve had my downs. There were moments that I wanted to stay stuck in forever, but there were also moments that I just wanted to forget for the rest of my life.
I would consider myself a happy but confused child. I was confused as to why I wasn’t the same height as everyone else, and why my body started developing when I was only 10 years old–before everyone else.
Confused, because I was interested in poetry and stories when all the other kids only cared about being nice, pretty and popular while I didn’t really care that much. By the time I was 11, I wanted to be an actress. I felt like it was my true calling. I loved putting together my own plays with my best friend, a blonde girl with lots of freckles and a very nice smile. We would do everything together. We would go to dance class together, we would go swimming every Wednesday afternoon, and we would also bake cookies every weekend. I felt like I had a true friend.
When I turned 12 years old, I got into a band named One Direction. They were my everything. By this time, a lot of things were changing around me. I was going to a different school and I was scared. Very scared. People had changed and they all wanted to prove it. But through it all, One Direction saved me by providing an escape.
Turning 13, my friends started having their first boyfriends. The blonde girl with freckles was no longer interested in baking cookies and joining me for dance class. Even more changed after my 14th and 15th birthdays. Good and bad things came along the way. My 14 and my 15-year-old self were overwhelmed with new things. Lots of happiness. Lots of sadness, too. But every time I had a sad moment, I’d tell myself, “everything will get better,” even though I wasn’t entirely sure what that meant. My love for poetry was still present. I’d write down all my feelings, because I felt that I could express myself better when writing poems.
I’m turning 16 in less than a month and a lot of things are still changing.
So, you may ask, did everything get better? Well, I’ll have to tell you that I’m still working on a better version of myself each and every day. I think it’s important that I re-invent myself all the time. Every person has different personalities and has different feelings. You might show some of those feelings, or you might want to keep them to yourself. The thing is, there are probably plenty of people out there who feel the same way as you so they will understand you. I think talking about your feelings is important. Things will work out because you are worth it.[share]