Living on the Edge

Writing and illustration by Nazifatur Rahmi

What would you do now?

When everything seems like crumbling down

When nothing means everything

When living seems like the only thing you can’t decide

Have you ever thought about it?

How it could be

How should it be?

What would it be?


Life teaching us something

That is not so unpredictable, isn’t?

Everything that happened has it’s own reason

Maybe one or two

Maybe the other way around


How we are still laughing over the shit that hurt us

Thinking that one-day we could turn it back around

Is that how we actually want it to end?

Does it even matter now when it was all scattered in pieces

Either way we are fucked

Silence I discover, actually something you could hear

What makes it worth fighting for?

When it all becomes memories from the past

Can’t we stop and see a little better?

Is there really an answer out there?

And we keep asking the same thing over and over again

No, you never meant to hurt

Just sometimes when we live on the edge

We just hurt others

We have got to live anyway

No matter how cruel that might seems

We just end up doing the things that need to be done

Once again, life fucked us up

What was it really?

Words have failed to explain things

Feelings are too much to express

Exploding into tiny pieces of dust

Vanish along the blow of the wind

Remain forever as our main reason to exist

Come back vividly in the tip of our eyes

They probably know nothing of your pain

None of us actually understand perfectly

Not even yourself understand the sorrow within your heart

You are just a great pretender

Smiling all along the road of faith as nothing else matters

While holding tears from falling across your cheeks

Is that it?

Whatever it might be

Hold your head high

For the thing that makes you worthy is the fact that you are

For the reason you live is that you are alive

For the only reasonable thing is your own existence

Life might fuck you over and over again

Chin up and fuck it back!


Nazifatur Rahmi

Nazifatur Rahmi is a graphic designer based in Jakarta. She works as a full-time graphic designer in one of the biggest e-commerce companies in Jakarta, Indonesia. She is an independent girl who is eager to learn new things and loves to draw, especially portraits. She loves writing as well, to express her thoughts about the world and its complicated matters. Most of her writings are about self-doubt, faith, dreams and reality. In 2014, she graduated from Paramadina University majoring in visual communication design. Her world is mostly about design, drawing, reading and writing. You can find some of her drawings on her Instagram account @nazifaturrahmi or visit her Behance.

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