Poem by Celine Floyd // Photograph by Sofia Higgins
’Twas a damp summer night when I spewed my deepest darkest secrets.
You held my knotted hair,
Washcloth in hand,
As I slurred,
Throwing up words and feelings into an empty toilet bowl,
Insanity slowly enveloping and crowding my mind:
// I //
Meeting you was like a comet shower:
And all at once.
With eyes like a galaxy,
You offered me wine.
“You’re quite refined,”
Downing white wine.
That smirk became a lifeline.
// II //
More than anything,
I became your pet;
Running in circles,
Chasing your love on the tip of my tail,
On the tip of your lips.
Don’t taunt me with your lies and blown kisses.
// III //
You’d say home is where the heart is,
As you cut a hole into my heart.
A pretty little home-shaped hole.
// IV //
Decisions are hard to make,
Especially when love’s at stake.
But pull out a knife and fork,
Oh dig in.
Throw some salt —
A dash or a handful —
To add more flavour to my wounds.
Stay or leave.
It’ll hurt just the same.
// V //
a kaleidoscope of amber and gold
little specks of stories untold
hiding in your eyes.
as it unfolds before me,
you ask ever so softly:
from scrutinizing the details and pre-tales
i’m about to describe”
‘the past is no game,’
stroking your messy blonde hair,
‘nor can it be ignored,
but it won’t hurt you anymore.’
i’ll hold you
and rock you
through the nightmares,
lay a washcloth upon your forehead
to keep the bad-past tsunami at bay.
nights spent screaming, dreaming and sweating.
losing your sanity.
every last wisp of it.
i will stay there
i will be by your side
all for that kaleidoscope
kaleidoscope of amber and gold.