Advice by Miss Blanks
Not only can Brisbane’s Miss Blanks rap, but her rich experiences as a singer, provocateur, fashionista and unashamedly sexual babe make her a prime candidate for Ramona’s very first guest advice columnist! She has just released her new video:
A couple of my main friendship groups have drifted in the past year or so and I am feeling a bit alone. I do still have people to hang out with one on one, and love spending time with my boyfriend, but I miss that feeling of togetherness that comes with having a strong girl crew. How can I create that feeling for myself?
Self care and self love is super important. Start to focus on your relationship with self before you start giving yourself to others. Take care of YOUR needs. Once you’ve done that, start to look at clubs or spaces you can engage in where there is that togetherness you seek.
Since I left high school last year and started uni I have been going on a few dates, and find myself often being ghosted by guys. I hang out with someone a bit and then they just disappear on me. It’s really hard not to take it personally! I don’t know whether to just forget about it and move on, or to confront the guys to tell them its uncool behaviour. How do you deal with stuff like this?
I’m a big believer in “if it aint meant to be, it aint meant to be”. Something I realised early on when it comes to dating (and life) is that other peoples problems with you is not your problem. Of course, no one likes being ghosted but also I think deep down you’d be happy they ended things sooner rather than later if they weren’t feeling any type of connection. However, on the flip side, YES hold these guys accountable – get petty if you need to. Women/NB don’t deserve to be dismissed by men like disposables.
Am I stuck in the past?
In the past year or so my childhood best friend has totally drifted from me. She isn’t very nice to me, doesn’t seem very interested in who I am, and sometimes says really judgemental things. In the past she has been my absolute rock and we called each other sisters. We have kind of been keeping things nice but I feel really hurt and want to confront her. But I don’t know whether I should just let things be and move on.
In these moments, communication is super important and keeping things transparent with how you’re feeling is going to benefit you majorly with how to navigate the situation. You never know, your friend might be going through something that she hasn’t been able to share with you or feel comfortable sharing with you. However, I don’t think it’s fair for you to be treated poorly. I say confront your friend in an honest, humble, way and see where she’s at, ask questions. You’re both not mind readers, so communication is super important. If it ends up being a matter of her just being mean and not caring for you and your feelings like they would in the past, then its up to you if thats a friendship worth sticking around for and investing time and energy in.
I sometimes feel really upset when I see the way my friend’s boyfriend speaks to her. I’ve noticed that she’s changed since she started seeing him, she doesn’t go out as much or make as much of an effort with me. I’m wondering how I can talk to her about my concerns?
Ok, I think this is a 2 part answer. It’s important to recognise that when a friend, especially close friend, goes into a relationship, the dynamic of your relationship with that friend is going to change and you’re most probably not going to have as much time with them as you normally would. Secondly, if your friends boyfriend speaks to them in any way that isn’t polite, kind, loving, etc, you definitely need to highlight this to your friend and make sure they recognise that this treatment toward them is not okay – if not from you because you’re worried about confrontation, maybe someone they’ll really listen to like their mother etc.