Words by Kat John
Let’s be real—’authentic’ has become one of those buzzwords that’s been thrown around so much that it can start to feel like it’s lost its meaning. We hear it in self-help books, marketing campaigns, Instagram captions—it’s everywhere. But what does it actually mean to be authentic? More importantly, how does this word apply to our lives in a way that isn’t just some hashtag or feel-good meme?
I’ve spent years exploring the concept of authenticity, both in my personal journey and in my work as an authenticity coach. And let me tell you, authenticity isn’t just a word you throw into a conversation to sound deep. It’s a way of living that’s not only hard to practice but also absolutely vital for living a fulfilled, meaningful life.
What Authenticity Is Not
Let’s start by clearing the air: authenticity isn’t about “being real” for the sake of being edgy, shocking, or trendy. It’s not about saying whatever pops into your head without regard for the impact it might have. It’s not about always being raw and vulnerable, or needing to spill your guts to everyone you meet. Being authentic doesn’t mean living in an emotional free-for-all.
At the heart of it, authenticity is about being aligned—aligned with who you truly are, what you believe in, and how you want to show up in the world.
Why We Stray from Our Authentic Selves
Most of us aren’t living as our authentic selves. We might think we are, but many of us are operating under layers of conditioning, expectations, and old stories that have nothing to do with who we really are.
Society tells us what we should value—success, status, appearances—and so we end up bending ourselves to fit these molds. We prioritize what others think of us, or we cling to who we think we ‘should’ be, rather than who we ‘are’. It’s no wonder we feel disconnected, lost, or like we’re living someone else’s life.
For me, authenticity is a continual practice of unlearning. I’ve had to shed layers of false identities I built up—whether it was people-pleasing or performing roles that were expected of me—and it’s still a work in progress.
The Real Work of Authenticity
Living authentically takes courage. It means listening to that quiet, inner voice and making decisions based on what feels true for you, even when it goes against the grain of what others expect or what you’ve always done. It also means making peace with the fact that being authentic won’t always make you popular or comfortable.
In my own life, this came to a head when I found myself at a crossroads, battling chronic pain and addiction. I had to decide: Was I going to keep living a life that wasn’t mine, or was I going to face the hard truth of who I really was? Spoiler alert: I chose the hard truth. But let me tell you, it’s been the most liberating, life-changing choice I’ve ever made.
The Power of Living Authentically
When you start living from that place of truth, everything shifts. It’s like waking up for the first time in years. Your relationships improve, not because you’re forcing them to, but because you’re finally showing up as you. The right opportunities start aligning with your path, and even the setbacks don’t hit as hard because you’re living in alignment with your deeper purpose. You stop wasting energy trying to be someone you’re not, and that frees up a ton of space for what really matters.
This is something I teach in my coaching sessions: to get people to recognise where they’ve gone off track, where they’re wearing a mask, and then to help them start peeling back those layers. It’s a process that takes time, but it’s worth it. And yes, it’s uncomfortable. But so is living a lie.
The Role of Self-Compassion
Here’s another key part of authenticity that people don’t talk about enough—self-compassion. Because the truth is, you’re not always going to get it right. Sometimes, you’ll think you’re living in alignment only to realise you’ve fallen back into old patterns. That’s okay. Authenticity isn’t about perfection; it’s about progress.
In those moments when I feel myself slipping into old habits—like when my ego wants to take the driver’s seat and I find myself rushing to do everything in light speed time so I’m not a failure—I come back to those four simple words: ‘all in good time’. They remind me to breathe, slow down, and trust that living authentically isn’t a race to some finish line. It’s a journey, one that we’re always refining and revisiting.
Why It Matters Now More Than Ever
We live in a world that’s increasingly disconnected—disconnected from ourselves, from each other, from our true purpose. That’s why authenticity is more important than ever. It’s not just some fluffy concept to toss around; it’s about realigning with who you are at your core. It’s about making decisions from a place of truth, not fear or ego.
When we do this, we stop pretending. We stop rejecting ourselves in order to be accepted by others. And when we stop rejecting ourselves, we give ourselves permission to show up fully, and that’s where the magic happens.
Final Thoughts
So, is ‘authentic’ over-used? Sure, maybe the word has been thrown around too much. But the real meaning of authenticity—living from a place of alignment, truth, and self-compassion—will never go out of style.
Because when we live authentically, we not only change our own lives, but we also give others permission to do the same. And in a world that constantly tries to pull us in different directions, living authentically might just be the most radical, liberating thing we can do.
Kat John is the author of Authentic, out now from all good bookstores.
