Words by King Ibis
‘Gaslight’ has become a well-known term for psychological manipulation. When I wrote our single Did You Dim The Lights, I was just beginning to grasp its true meaning. I found myself obsessively researching it, even watching a rather silly film adaptation of the 1930s play Gaslight, where a man dims the gaslights to erode his wife’s trust in her own memory and sanity. Despite its ridiculousness, I found myself relating to its themes. I was searching for answers, proof that these manipulative dynamics exist and that I wasn’t losing my mind.
I had recently removed myself from a deeply confusing relationship and I was still trying to piece everything together. I felt disconnected from my own memories and intuition, and I had a hard time advocating for myself. With my reality in question, it became increasingly confusing to balance the desire to be a good partner with the need to prioritise my well-being. I truly believed something was wrong with me, and making decisions became increasingly challenging. I carried a lot of resentment and questioned whether I had the right to feel it.
Fortunately, with the support of some wonderful friends, I found the courage to recognise that something was indeed off. That simmering animosity was real and pushed me to make a change. The journey wasn’t easy, and I often doubted myself. The distrust I had in my own feelings and recollection is something I’m still working through today. However, this song became a powerful reminder to break free from self-doubt, advocate for myself, and finally confront the anger I had suppressed for so long.
Ultimately, every experience—good and bad—offers a chance for growth and learning. I no longer feel angry; instead, I have a deeper understanding of how unprocessed emotions and past pain can surface in unexpected ways, often hurting those we love most. I like to believe we are all doing our best with the tools we have.
And of course, as you can hear in our latest single, I also learned some Italian, which is bellissimo!
I wrote Did You Dim The Lights after moving through this deeply confusing relationship dynamic, and it was a dark time in my life, but hey, we got a cool song out of it! Did You Dim The Lights is out now everywhere.
