Words by Lucy Hawkins
In 2022 I decided to take a break from drinking alcohol. Two years later, I decided I was ready to start again. This is what I learnt.
By the end of 2021 we’d all just survived a global pandemic and in Melbourne, where we were living, we were the longest locked down city in the world. One day was much the same as the other and I was drinking more regularly than before. Just a glass a night—most nights. And on the two nights I made myself skip, I felt glum. And that made me feel uncomfortable, so I decided to take a break.
I found it incredibly easy, largely due to a book called, ‘Quit Like a Woman’ by Holly Whitaker. She reframed alcohol as something pushed upon us by culture and advertising, much like cigarettes in the 60’s. She made me realise it was hurting me and I shouldn’t let anything hurt me, I deserve better than that.
This book told me that by drinking I was actually missing out on all the really good stuff. And I realised she was right. I really focused on the present and thrived off the mental and physical strength I was gaining. Early morning yoga, hikes, swims, energy for all the games with the kids and still some left over to read at the end of each day. I felt incredible.
It wasn’t until 22 months that I started to think about alcohol, how I would like to reintroduce a glass of wine if I went out to dinner. That was all I wanted and I decided I was strong enough to be able to keep it at that.
I’d watched ‘Live to 100, Secrets of the Blue Zones’ on Netflix where they had identified areas in the world where there was a high concentration of centenarians and they investigated what they were doing to live so long. Amongst the information on diet, exercise and a sense of purpose, the centenarians often drank alcohol socially in small amounts. It was the coming together, the celebration. And whilst I had learnt that I could come together with my friends and family and celebrate without alcohol, I did feel, rightly or wrongly, that something was missing, that I wasn’t enjoying myself as much as everyone else.
So on my birthday I ordered a glass of wine. My husband and kids monitored me closely as I took my first sip. I don’t know what they were expecting, sudden raucous behaviour, a leap onto the table and dancing the can-can, but alas they were disappointed. It just tasted like poison and one sip was enough. But, thought provokingly, a month later I tried again, and it wasn’t quite so foul. Within a few months I was up to a glass, and that was as far as I was prepared to go.
My rule was one drink a week, and when I started drinking again, that one drink gave me such a buzz that it took hours to finish—heavily diluted with ice and a bottle of water. Even when we sold our house and all our belongings, took our kids out of school and moved to Mallorca on the other side of the world, which was a tad stressful, but I stuck to my rule. No drinking when I was sad or upset, I still wanted a clear head to deal with all the things we were dealing with. But when we went out to dinner I had my one glass of wine.
The problem was we were suddenly living in this idyllic location and the sun was shining and as a result we were going out to dinner a lot more often. Now my one drink a week was 4 nights a week. We made ourselves snap out of it, we weren’t on holiday, this was for life and we quite literally couldn’t afford every night to be knees up. So that was that we only went out for dinner on weekends and my alcohol consumption was two units a week, which I was ok with.
The best thing I did was set myself the rule that I don’t drink alcohol at home. This has been a game-changer for me. Since it’s not up for debate I don’t even think about it, there’s no ‘should I, shouldn’t I?’ it’s just not a thing. I’m stocked up with zero alcohol wine and beer so I don’t feel like I’m missing out, genuinely.
With 4.2 million people in the UK saying they were planning on abstaining from alcohol for Dry January, it’s obvious that people are aware of the dangers and the benefits of going without. The late great Michael Mosley believed that ‘having a couple of drinks twice a week is unlikely to do much harm, but recommended abstinent days, abstinent months, and if you actually don’t miss the stuff, abstinent years.’
The U.S Surgeon General stated that; ‘Regular alcohol consumption, even in moderation, can increase the risk of certain cancers and recommends that cancer warnings are placed on the labels of alcoholic beverages.’
Breastcancer.org says the more alcohol you drink, the greater your risk of developing breast cancer. According to the advisory, one study found that the absolute risk of developing breast cancer over a lifetime rose from 11.3% in women who drank less than one drink per week to 15.3% for those who drank two drinks per day. It is a numbers game.
I have noticed that since I’ve gone back to drinking I now sometimes have two drinks over the course of the night, because it now takes those two drinks to give me the effects of the previous one. Cheeky git of a thing! Alcohol needs to be constantly kept in check.
It frightened me because I wasn’t just up against my willpower, it was a physical reaction, it was tolerance. The National Library of Medicine says; ‘Simply defined, alcohol tolerance occurs when the amount of alcohol that is consumed does not change but results in less of an effect or when higher amounts of alcohol are needed to produce the same effect.’ That’s as well as may be, tolerance, but you’re no match for my steely determination, I’ve stood my ground against an irate toddler for years.
So my new year’s resolution is to take it back to one, and show it who’s boss. I want to be present with each sip. I feel like life is whipping by and I want to be here for every minute of it, noticing every detail, which I can’t do after one glass.
I do look forward to that glass of wine but I think the trick is to have lots of different things to look forward to. I want to really look at that, what gives me those good feelings. When I go to bed at night and recap my day it wasn’t the wine with dinner that stood out, it was playing Scrabble with my daughter.
When I woke up this morning I looked forward to my pot of tea, going for a run, finishing watching Night at the Museum with the kids, annihilating my husband in a general knowledge quiz. I know I know, I’m a thrill-seeking hedonist, life’s crazy.
It took me two years of none and then 6 months of some to realise health and happiness require a bit of evaluation on my part if I’m going to get maximum bang for my buck.
