Words by Ruby Chen // photograph by Hong Nguyen
I spent seven years trapped in depression. Growing up in a traditional Asian family, I was never taught how to express my emotions—only how to suppress them. If you showed sadness, people would think you were weak or crazy. So I kept everything inside. I didn’t know how to ask for help. I didn’t even know how to release my pent up emotions. I know what it’s like to wake up feeling empty, to force a smile at work when you feel like crumbling inside, and to wonder if things will ever get better.
But here’s the truth: they do.
I won’t tell you it was easy, but I will tell you it was possible. Looking back, I had to unlearn the beliefs that kept me stuck and rebuild myself from the inside out. If you’re struggling right now, I want you to know that your pain is not your final chapter. Here are some of the things that helped me reclaim my happiness—I hope they help you too:
- Stop Believing You Are Broken
For the longest time, I thought something was wrong with me. I blamed myself for feeling the way I did, which only made things worse. But here’s what I learned: depression is not a personal failure. It’s a signal that something inside needs healing—not proof that you’re unworthy or weak.
Instead of asking, “What’s wrong with me?” try asking, “What is my mind and body trying to tell me?” This shift alone can change everything.
- Rewrite the Stories in Your Head
I grew up believing my worth was tied to achievement and external validation. That I had to be smaller, quieter, and less than others to be loved. And that belief kept me stuck.
It wasn’t until I started questioning these thoughts that I realised: they weren’t mine to carry. I had the power to rewrite my story.
Take a limiting belief you’ve been carrying (e.g., “I’m not good enough”) and challenge it. Ask yourself: Would I say this to a friend? If not, why am I saying it to myself? Replace it with a more compassionate truth.
- Move – Even When You Don’t Feel Like It
When you’re depressed, everything feels exhausting. Some days, even getting out of bed feels like climbing a mountain. But movement—no matter how small—shifts energy.
For me, it started with short walks just to get some fresh air. Then stretching. Then dancing in my room, even when I didn’t feel like it. Bit by bit, my body started remembering what joy felt like.
If a full workout feels overwhelming, just move for two minutes today. Do yoga, dance, stretch, or even shake your arms out. Your body will thank you.
- Let Go of ‘All or Nothing’ Thinking
One of the biggest lies depression tells you is that if you can’t do everything, you might as well do nothing.
For years, I thought if I couldn’t be perfectly happy, there was no point in trying. But healing isn’t about flipping a switch—it’s about taking small steps, even when they feel insignificant.
Instead of saying, “I have to fix everything,” try “What’s one small thing I can do today that will make me feel 1% better?” Small wins add up.
- Surround Yourself with the Right People
The people around you matter. If you’re constantly surrounded by negativity or people who drain you, it’s hard to heal. I had to distance myself from relationships that kept me stuck and start seeking out people who uplifted me.
Even if you don’t have supportive people around you yet, you can create a new environment. Podcasts, books, and online communities saved me before I had the courage to change my social circle.
Follow one inspiring person today—someone who reminds you that healing is possible. Let their words sink in.
- Give Yourself Permission to Rest
I used to think I had to earn my rest. That if I wasn’t constantly achieving, I wasn’t worthy. But exhaustion isn’t a badge of honour—it’s a sign that you need care.
Rest isn’t laziness. It’s fuel for your soul. When I finally allowed myself to slow down, breathe, and let go of the guilt, I started healing faster than ever.
Reminder: You don’t need permission to rest. Your worth isn’t tied to your productivity.
- Meditation – The Habit That Changed Everything
I can’t say enough about how much meditation helped me. It took time to feel the effects, but I promise—it’s worth it.
I started with just five minutes a day. At first, my mind wouldn’t shut up. But the more I stuck with it, the more I felt like myself again. Meditation gave me clarity, helped me move forward, and, honestly? It became something I craved.
How to start: Use free resources online—YouTube or Spotify have plenty of guided meditations, so it doesn’t have to cost you anything. Try it first thing in the morning or before bed for the best results.
- Believe That Life Can Get Better
When you’re in the depths of depression, hope feels impossible. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s this: your current reality is not your forever reality.
There was a time I thought I’d never feel happy again. But here I am—living proof that healing is possible. If I could find my way back, so can you.
Your Next Step: Choose one small thing from this list and try it today. Just one. That’s all it takes to start shifting forward.
You Are Worth Fighting For
I want you to know that you are not alone. You are not broken. And you are so much stronger than you think.
Healing doesn’t happen overnight, but every small step matters. Keep going. One day, you’ll look back and realize that the version of you who thought they wouldn’t make it… did.
If this helped you, share it with someone who needs to hear it. And if you want to connect, I’d love to hear your story. You’re not alone in this.
