Words by Petria Leggo-Field
Mother’s Day used to fill me with mixed emotions. As a mother of four, I treasured the handmade cards and surprise breakfasts in bed, but something always felt off. It wasn’t until I came out to my kids that I fully understood why.
Telling my kids I was a lesbian was something I worried about a lot, but in the end, it was one of the most beautiful parts of my journey, and it transformed how I view motherhood entirely. I went from thinking being a “good mum” was well-kept together, to knowing that being a good mum is about more. It’s about building something real and not sticking to what’s expected.
When I used to think of motherhood, I pictured the typical mainstream narrative. You know the one: wife baking bread, husband fixing the porch light, and 2.5 happy children running around the backyard with a perfectly groomed golden retriever. One of the biggest (and most heartwarming) discoveries I’ve made on my journey is that real motherhood is so much more than that. It’s messy, queer, often surprising and more often has me in tears from laughter! Most importantly, it’s rooted in love.
As my kids have grown, our conversations about family structure have naturally evolved. From the very beginning, I’ve made sure they know that families come in all shapes and forms, and that love is what truly makes a family. Queerness was never an off-limits topic – we even talked about me being a surrogate for a queer male friend, so my kids always knew there were other families like the one ours was becoming.
As kids, they have loads of questions – some serious, some funny, and some that make me pause for a second before answering! But every single question has been met with honesty, openness, and love. I’ve always encouraged them to express their thoughts and feelings, reassuring them that no matter what changes in our family dynamic, they are safe, supported, and deeply loved.
During celebrations like Mother’s Day, these conversations can feel especially tough. For me, finding a sense of community helped me navigate the tough moments that came with coming out, and gave my kids a sense of normalcy and connection. I realised I’m not alone, and days like Mother’s Day didn’t feel so daunting.
When I was questioning myself and my sexuality, I was desperately seeking stories like mine, so I know how much it means to feel seen, on days like Mother’s Day. Looking around at Mother’s Day stalls where you could only buy one present, to seeing Mother’s Day cards that didn’t look like my family, it’s so easy to feel discouraged.
This year, I wanted to change that and show up, especially for other mums who are on the same journey as me. With the help of Moonpig, Rainbow Families have designed heartwarming cards for every kind of ‘mother’ – the bonus mums, trans mums, solo mums, queer mums, and everyone in between.
For all those mums, just know that you are not too late. You are not alone. And you don’t have to have it all figured out to be worthy of love, connection, and belonging. Finding your voice is powerful, even if it’s a whisper at first. There’s a whole community of us out here, arms wide open, ready to walk with you.
This Mother’s Day feels different. As I look at these Moonpig cards that finally reflect families like mine, I hope people see that love makes a family, not gender or tradition. I hope queer parents feel a little more visible, a little more embraced. Because when our families are reflected in everyday things, like a card, it tells our kids that they are seen and they belong.
