Words by Mary Jane
When I first moved to New York in my early twenties, I thought I was prepared for anything. I’d done the big life upheaval thing before. I’d romanticised the chaos. I told everyone I was “starting fresh.” What I didn’t anticipate was how loudly my anxiety would echo in a tiny Brooklyn apartment at 2am, or how quickly the loneliness would creep in between subway rides, casual brunch dates, and freelance deadlines.
Back home, I had always been the calm one. The dependable one. The rock. In New York, I was suddenly unraveling. Overwhelmed, spiralling, and unsure how to even begin asking for help in a country where the healthcare system felt like a maze with no exit.
It happened on the F line somewhere between Jay Street and a stretch of grimy, flickering tunnel when everything finally gave way. I was standing there, clutching a pole and trying to look normal, while my chest tightened and my heart flopped like a fish out of water. Messy, uncontrollable sobs escaped me as I held on for dear life, sure my fate was to die on the subway. Somewhere in that moment, after a few encouraging smiles (all from women) and many purposeful looks away (mostly men), I realised I’d hit rock bottom and I couldn’t do this alone anymore.
Learning to ask for help became the most important lesson I’ve ever learned in caring for my mental health. Online mental health services ended up being my lifeline. They removed the pressure of navigating unfamiliar neighbourhood clinics, long waits, and awkward phone calls. Instead, I could start somewhere, anywhere, from my couch, in my mismatched pyjamas, with my tea going cold beside me.
Here’s what I discovered along the way.
The Reality of Finding Support as a New Yorker (Who Wasn’t Always One)
As someone new to the city and still finding my footing, emotionally, socially, financially, online therapy felt like the least intimidating option. It offered privacy, flexibility, and the ability to test the waters without feeling like I was making some massive, irreversible commitment.
I tried, researched, compared, and sometimes cried through more tabs than I care to admit. These are the services that stood out, for better or worse, and what I learned from navigating them as someone who genuinely needed help.
BetterHelp – A Flexible Starting Point When You’re Not Sure What You Need
BetterHelp was one of the first platforms I explored. It felt accessible and unintimidating, especially as someone who wasn’t navigating the US insurance system very confidently yet. Not being tied to insurance can be a blessing or a burden, depending on your situation, and for me it was both.
The upside? Choice and flexibility. You can text, video call, phone call, or message your therapist between sessions. You can also switch therapists without guilt or fees, which, as someone figuring out their emotional language in a new cultural landscape, felt hugely reassuring.
The downside? The quality can vary. While the pool is huge, consistency isn’t always guaranteed, and it may not be the most affordable option long-term if you do have access to mental health coverage.
Still, for someone tentatively stepping into therapy for the first time, it can be a gentle introduction.
The Service That Felt Most Personal to My New York Experience
After trying broader platforms, I began searching for something more locally grounded, a service that understood New Yorkers, their pace, their pressures, and their emotional landscape. That’s when I found Manhattan Mental Health Counseling.
A provider of online psychotherapy services across New York State, Manhattan Mental Health Counseling is able to pair patients up with a wide range of over 80 therapists, with access to one of the widest ranges of specialities you’ll find in any service.
What struck me most was the intentionality behind their matches. They take into account personality, goals, and preferred therapy style, whether that’s CBT, DBT, somatic therapies, or more holistic approaches. It didn’t feel transactional. It felt human.
They’re accessible, insurance-friendly, and deeply invested in creating a sense of warmth and safety without sacrificing clinical expertise. For someone who had spent years feeling misunderstood, that balance mattered.
Telepsychiatry – When You Need Medical Support Alongside Emotional Care
At one point in my journey, therapy alone wasn’t quite enough. I needed professional guidance around medication, something I had always been wary of but eventually realised could be part of healing, not a failure.
Telepsychiatry services offer access to licensed psychiatrists through video appointments, providing evaluations, diagnoses, and medication management. This was especially helpful when I needed clarity and structure, not just emotional processing.
While some platforms also offer psychotherapy, the real strength here lies in medical mental health care — bringing practical solutions into the picture when things feel unmanageable.
Online-Therapy – Structure for the Type-A Nervous System
If you’re someone who finds comfort in organisation (hello, former gold-star student), Online-Therapy might resonate. This service is heavily CBT-based and focuses not just on sessions, but on long-term mental wellness tools.
You get access to worksheets, guided journaling, mood tracking, mindfulness videos, and optional yoga practices, all designed to help you build coping mechanisms you can actually use in real life.
I found this especially helpful during periods where I wanted more autonomy and structure between sessions, rather than just talking and hoping for emotional osmosis.
7 Cups – When You Just Need Someone, Right Now
There were moments where I didn’t need a full therapy framework, I just needed a human voice. Someone to say “I hear you” without judgment or clinical language.
7 Cups offers free emotional support through trained listeners available 24/7. It’s not therapy, but it can be a crucial step when you’re in crisis or on the edge and not ready (or able) to commit to ongoing sessions yet.
There are premium therapy options, too, though these aren’t as comprehensive as other dedicated platforms.
What I Learned About Choosing the Right Support
If there’s one thing this journey taught me, it’s that there is no “perfect” platform — only what suits your needs right now. These are the factors that helped me make decisions with clarity:
- Location: Not all services are available everywhere due to licensing laws
- Type of Support: Therapy vs psychiatry vs self-guided tools
- Insurance Compatibility: Whether coverage is accepted or not
- Specialities: Anxiety, trauma, OCD, ADHD, grief, and more
- Therapy Styles: CBT, somatic, integrative, trauma-informed, etc
- Communication Formats: Video, phone, text, or hybrid
- Payment Structure: Subscription-based or per-session
Understanding what mattered most to me. Comfort, accessibility, clinical depth, and emotional safety, narrowed my search dramatically.
And as someone living in New York, finding a service that genuinely understood this city and its emotional rhythms made all the difference.
Where I Am Now
I’m still a work in progress. I still have days where the city feels too loud and my thoughts feel heavier than they should. But I also have tools now. Language. Support. Boundaries. A therapist who knows my story.
Most importantly, I learned that asking for help isn’t weakness, it’s self love, and sometimes, it’s the beginning of finally coming home to yourself.
And if you’re reading this, wondering where to start? I promise you, starting anywhere is the best start.
