ARTIST FEATURE: Candidly Carly

Hi Carly, how are you? Tell us a little bit about yourself. 

Hi Freya and Ramona Magazine! This is so cool — thanks for reaching out. I’m honoured and also feeling major imposter syndrome, so bear with me! I’m Carly (from @Candidly.Carly) and I never know how to answer these types of questions about myself… but, here we go! I guess I could succinctly sum myself up as a millennial Girl Mom. But to expand, my daughters are Ridley (7) and Romee (3) and my husband Jordan and I have been together since high school! I was teaching before I went on maternity leave with my first daughter and have been a stay-at-home-mom since. Being able to stay home with my kids has always been my dream and I’m beyond grateful that that’s currently my reality. My favourite colour is pink. Chocolate chip cookies (slightly undercooked) are my favourite. I love a crispy fountain coke. My guilty pleasure is reality TV (mainly Bravo shows, or competition shows like The Challenge or Traitors). I love reading (decluttering books, romance, books with good banter, or anything set in Paris), traveling (preferably to places with palm trees), and playing volleyball. I would consider myself minimal-ish (I’ve decluttered so much, but certainly have more than a minimalist would). I am really trying to simplify the things in my life so that I can slow down and soak these days up (the good old days!), be present, and reduce overwhelm. And that’s a little bit (or maybe it’s a lot?) about me!

What inspired you to start sharing your journey online, and how did Candidly Carly come to life?

I started out just by sharing daily life at home with my then 18 month old and the resin letters I created. Friends started messaging me asking about making them their own set of letters and then it just kind of took off from there! As time went on, I felt like I was spamming everyone with all the custom sets I was making and the activities I was posting, so I created a separate account. For about two years I shared custom letter sets with learning activities (I have a teaching degree and after having Ridley, I become very interested in Montessori and the Resin Sets were basically a version of the Montessori movable alphabet!). Then, one day I posted a quote about motherhood out of my Resin Sets and it went kind of viral. Then I posted another quote about my struggles with fertility and that’s when I realized that people really appreciated and connected to the quotes, so I started to post more of them. While I was going through fertility treatments I started sharing about my journey and people really connected with that and were incredibly supportive, so I started to share more personal things and less about learning activities. When I — finally! — got pregnant with my second, I decided that I wanted (needed!) to slow down and take a break from making and selling the letters (I was feeling overwhelmed and couldn’t keep up with orders), so my account transitioned to @Candidly_Carly, since I was no longer making the letters but posting relatable or funny quotes using them, and sharing daily mom life or helpful ideas to my stories.

Your posts often feel like a warm hug or a gentle eye-roll at the chaos of the world, how do you strike that balance between humour and heart?

I love that! What a great way to put it — Thank you for that! I feel like it’s kind of like… if you don’t laugh at it then you’ll cry? And no one wants to cry, so by putting it in colourful and sparkly resin letters with a meaningful (or sometimes witty) caption then it kind of makes it better (or less worse, at least), while also connecting us! I’ve realized that we really seek that connection. So it’s like: ya, this isn’t always great, but at least we can laugh, notice the good, put things into perspective, or feel seen. When I’m creating posts for Instagram I just try to always keep a positive outlook or put a humorous spin on it and make it cute — colourful and sparkly letters just elevate it. I’ve also always loved writing and always loved quotes so this kind of seemed like it was meant to be! I used to love finding quotes for my MSN name and used to cut out quotes for collages on my binders in school. I think words are so powerful and it’s so cool that I can make posts with the letters I made and have such an impact (or so much fun!) with them.

How has motherhood shaped the kind of content you feel drawn to make and share?

It’s basically the backbone (and heart!) of my account. It started from sharing my stay-at-home-mom journey, my fertility journey and then my postpartum thoughts. I speak from the perspective of motherhood, view things from a motherhood lens and like motherhood in general; it never shuts off, so even if the post is not related to motherhood specifically, my brain is still thinking about it as a Mom. Motherhood changes you. It rocks your whole entire world, changes your existence, and that can feel incredibly shocking and isolating but it can also make you feel so deeply connected to other Moms. I found that when I connected with Moms (especially freshly postpartum) I felt seen and so validated. It was so refreshing that other people were experiencing the same thing I was and knowing that someone else was going through what I was experiencing and understood it (or had tips!) was game-changing. I wanted to be that for other Moms (and anyone!), so I love being about to share and create posts that people resonate with, making them feel seen. When someone messages me saying, “SAME!” or “I needed this today”, I know exactly what they mean and I love that. I love when I feel that same way too (it’s so validating!): When you see a post that feels like it was meant for you — it’s like a rush, but not in an overwhelming way, more so like an exhilarating feeling of comfort, relief and connection, like someone else gets it! That feels good. I am constantly chasing that rush myself and also wanting to create that feeling for others — hence wanting to create and share posts that people connect to!

Can you talk us through your process of creating?

So typically, I have a personal experience, revisit that experience in my mind, then I think to myself: wait, could this be relatable? Like one day, I was driving home and noticed my vehicle was FULL of stuff (toys, water bottles, food garbage, clothing, bags, books, markers, papers, etc.) and I’m thinking to myself: I literally just brought so much stuff into the house, how is there always so much stuff to bring in from the jeep!? Then I’m like wait, other people must be experiencing this too right? I usually send myself a voice note — so I don’t forget — and later I workshop the thought into a quote. Then I stress about how I can word it to include as many people as possible (like using the word vehicle, instead of car, or jeep) and most importantly I wonder how I can word it to not offend anyone. Typically, I write a long caption late at night (think, midnight to one a.m) in my notes app then refine it when I’m more clear headed (or, more awake). When I’m ready to create the actual quote, it’s probably not how you’d imagine it done (or maybe you’ve never actually imagined it!), I try to vary the colour to sparkle ratio of letters and then lay them out on my white kitchen table. Once I get them all laid out, I take way too much time attempting to straighten each letter and centre them (yet they’re still never straight enough but I’m learning to let go of perfectionism!). I take around 20 pictures total because after each picture I straighten a letter or a word and re-take it. I only take pictures when it’s sunny out and when the sun is at the right angle for the natural light in my kitchen window. It’s a whole ridiculous process, but it is what it is — I’ve tried ring lights or light boxes but neither worked for me. During nap time, I usually dedicate some time to creating the post — adding music, editing the caption and sharing it to Instagram!

What’s something your audience might not know about the behind-the-scenes of your work?

There’s a few! I get a lot of comments and DM’s asking (or assuming) that the letters are magnets but they’re not — they’re just laid flat on a white table and photographed from above. (I have made magnet sets before, but these ones are not.) Lately a lot of people ask me if they’re AI, or they’re surprised to learn that they’re “real letters” (which breaks my heart a little because I don’t like how we have to question whether things are real or AI now).

Posting meaningful captions always makes me feel incredibly vulnerable but they’re also my favourite because I like to write and share my thoughts. I love adding music to the posts (music makes everything better!), but this makes the process of creating even longer because I want to love the music but I also want the song choice to appropriately connect with the quote — so it’s tricky and time consuming! While I’m creating the quotes, my daughter is usually playing with the extra letters alongside me. Also, I simply cannot keep up with it all: creating, photographing, captions, stories, comments and DMS. It’s overwhelming!

There’s a concept about juggling it all and how some balls are glass and some balls are plastic: DMs are often my plastic balls. I just have to let them drop sometimes. But I always pick them back up! My camera roll is actually full of screenshots of supportive and kind DMs. I read every single one and it takes me so much time to respond because I want to acknowledge everyone and show my appreciation! But no one is doing it all. Everything takes time and there’s only so much time I can dedicate to Instagram! I appreciate my DMs so much — sometimes I reply in .01 seconds, sometimes it’s 3 months. But I appreciate them all the same! And finally, I have so many quotes drafted, saved and photographed but I don’t like to post them until I feel like it’s the right time. I don’t know when that is exactly, but it just comes to me. That’s some behind the scenes insight!

When you’re feeling uninspired, what helps you reconnect with your creativity?

Ironically enough I am feeling uninspired right now! So I’ve been taking a break from social media a bit. I love sharing on the internet and have been so grateful for the community I’ve found, but sometimes I also want to ditch my phone and go as analog as possible. It’s a fine line and I toe the line often, but I always come back. I find the pressure to post consistently, always be on, and “grow” on social media really takes the fun out of it so I try not to get caught up in that, but there is still some pressure — I can’t entirely escape it! Taking social media breaks helps me to not burn out and relax which then makes me feel more rejuvenated to create more. We’re just not meant to be “on” all the time! It’s exhausting. Also, if I’m feeling uninspired then sometimes I’m just like, okay this is my down time, embrace it because next week I’ll probably have 20 thoughts and quotes that I’ll want to workshop. So I accept it and consider myself out of the proverbial office. Then I go about living my life and bam, inspiration hits: I’m living my (analog) life, putting my daughters to bed for what feels like the second straight hour and I wonder to myself: why is putting a sleepy kid to sleep, so hard? And just like that, I have a new resin quote and a renewed energy to get back online. The key is unplugging!

What role does community play in your work? Do you create with your audience in mind or more from your own instincts?

I’d say it starts from my instincts but then grows from the community. I create based on my thoughts and what I’m feeling: I’ve always loved quotes, loved putting words together and always have a lot to say but I also want to create posts that are relatable, so I have to consider the community too! However, I have to remind myself that my account is supposed to be authentic to me: I can’t write about boy mom stuff or Fatherhood because I don’t know that life and it wouldn’t be real to me. I can’t speak on other’s experiences or feelings, but I try to make my thoughts universal (sometimes I’ll write “parenthood” instead of “motherhood”, etc). I try not to make any post too niche. I don’t post about Girl Mom things because that’s not relatable to enough people and I don’t want to exclude a large portion of the Instagram community. So of course I keep my audience in mind (more accurately, I try to keep everyone in mind) and posts that are well-received motivate me to post other similar ones. Therapy type quotes are often well received and whenever I get a DM or comment that says “I really needed to see this today”, then I want to create more because I want people to feel seen! So I’ll try to create similar quotes or versions of that message. Another thing that’s helpful is that the quotes are often relative, so they’re kind of open to interpretation. Some people might see my post about “whatever you can manage today is good enough for today” and that means different things for different people. One person might consider getting out of bed and getting dressed all they can manage (and be proud of!); whereas, another might think that training for a marathon, or completing a massive to do list is “enough”. Someone might consider a 10 minute workout enough whereas another person is accepting that 45 minutes, instead of their usual hour long workout, is good enough for today. Cooking just one meal from scratch might be enough or maybe ordering takeout is enough for today. It’s all relative! We kind of interpret it how we need to, specific to our own circumstances. I love that we can often all relate to the quote but in our own ways. Kind of like a “take what you need” sign: Interpret the quote as needed, per your capability and capacity that day.

What advice would you give to someone trying to share their own honest voice online without burning out or oversharing?

I don’t know if I’m qualified to give that advice. I haven’t “mastered” that myself. I burn out still. I overthink things, fear that I overshare, then I pull back. I’d love to simply say, don’t doubt yourself, go for it, and be reasonable about how you show up online — but it’s not that simple! It’s definitely important to post authentically and to unplug to recharge. We’re not meant to always be “on” and engaged in social media and *all* the things. Unfortunately I don’t have the answer or some perfect equation for this (nor do I think there is one!), but I’d just say — you do you! It would be exhausting to be inauthentic and try to keep up an online facade or persona, not to mention that people can often sense inauthenticity. So, be you, show up when you can, take breaks when you want to or need to, share what you’re passionate about, but also leave a little something to the imagination — not everyone needs to know everything. Have fun, don’t take everything so seriously, aim for consistency, not perfection, be real and be kind (online and in person). Finally, the internet isn’t the end-all-be-all, don’t get so caught up in content creation and consuming content that you miss out on real-life, meaningful experiences!

Thanks so much Freya and Ramona Magazine! This was fun!