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What My Grandmother is Teaching Me About Loss

Writing by Andie Reyes // Photograph by Danie Franco

Grandma, since grandpa has died, I have seen you as strong as an oak tree. You have shed very few tears, and when you talk about him, you do it in such a beautiful way that makes my heart fill with joy.

Today you said that you wish grandfather would return, I felt that in my heart because I also want grandfather to return. When you see his motorcycle, you say that you keep feeling grandpa will walk through the door. Grandma I did not tell you this, but I feel that too. I carry my grandpa in a little corner of my heart, and I know that you do too, sometimes I feel that he must miss you when you as well.

Last night, I dreamt of grandpa, he was coming downstairs, and I ran into his arms. Granny, I know it was him because he hugged me and told me that everything ‘s gonna be okay, and that he was fine.

Grandma, I know you don’t remember, but your cousin told me that my grandfather fell in love with you the first time he saw you. He asked your cousin “Who is that girl with the braids?”.

I have so many beautiful memories of you and Grandpa, but the ones I treasure the most are when we’re together, laughing. Do you remember when I heated up some tortillas and they got burned and pa laughed at me?

Grandma, I know you are suffering like everyone, but you are being so strong and that sometimes scares me. Because your tranquility worries me.

I remember how you saw my grandfather and how he made you laugh. Now grandfather comes in the rain, or on a sunny day, he comes like a beautiful and warm morning.

Grandma, I love you very much. I am proud of you, you are the best grandmother, friend and the best human being, you have given me the best childhood and you have accompanied me into my adult life. I miss my grandfather a lot but I know that we have to honor him by living happily. I know that you miss him more than we do and when the sun comes up, I’d like to think that Grandpa is giving you a kiss.

Covid has taken a lot from us, it took away our grandfather, our joy and peace, but what it couldn’t take, is the love we have for him. Our memories and our faith because God is with us and takes care of my grandfather.

Andie Reyes

Andie Reyes (she/her) is a Mexican writer, columnist, and poet. She is a feminist – the women she admires the most are her grandmother and mother. She is proudly Mexican and is interested in psychology and journalism – her favorite hobbies are knitting vests, reading, and making pancakes.

Andie started writing when she was seven years old, with the purpose to understand why she suffered from school bullying, she created a narrative about her experiences at school from the perspective of animals, that is where she fell in love with writing.

Andie likes sunsets, cuddling her cat Mushu and her little dog named Coco.

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