Advice by Lucy Haley // Photograph by Clemence Leclerc
I recently, around 2 months ago graduated from high school and I am now beginning my college experience! I am really focusing on school, myself, my passions and just creating new experiences doing different things. I’m jumping head first into a lot of things that seem scary, but then turn out amazing and I’m just genuinely happy! For the first time in a long time I’m not thinking about boys, I don’t have a crush on anyone and I’m by myself and it feels soooo good! But according to my friends and family it’s not “normal.” Some of my friends and family think that I HAVE to be dating someone right now or that I must be unhappy because I don’t have a boyfriend when it’s the complete opposite! How do I make them stop? Help!
-Single Happy Pringle
You know what? I feel exactly the same way.
I completely understand what it’s like to be happy and content with life without the added need or stress of having a boyfriend. Sure, it’s can be great to be in a relationship, but being single can be great too! It’s very important to learn how to be happy alone, so good for you for developing that skill!
In terms of your family and friend’s comments–to be honest, they are probably just trying to look out for you, and have your best interest at heart. They want you to be happy and it seems they associate happiness with being in a relationship. But of course, YOU know best what is right for you. You are just starting college and it sounds like you have plenty of other things to keep you occupied rather than having a boyfriend–plus, you have the rest of your life to settle down in relationships; why not make the most of being young and free now! Perhaps you can try to talk to your family and friends and explain that you really are happy just the way things are, and explain what exactly it is that’s keeping you that way–your free time, the new club you joined, your amazing friends, your ability to really self-explore…whatever it may be! If they still don’t understand and insist you have to be in a relationship (or at least want to be in one) to be happy, you can say that you’ll just have to agree to disagree on it. Tell them you would really appreciate if they would give you space to make your own decisions, and if anything, having them constantly point out your single status is the only thing that’s really harming you!
One day (in a few months or a few years!) you might settle down in a relationship… or not. You might be happily single for the rest of your life and that is okay too! Whatever you choose to do is completely up to you. As long as whatever you choose to do makes you happy. Your happiness is the most important thing and it should come first. Hopefully your family and friends will come to accept your single status once they see that you really ARE happy, because that’s what they want for you.
So in the end, if you are happy being single–great. You are on the right track. You are doing the right thing for you and that is currently what’s working best. Don’t feel swayed by the opinions of those around you. Take care of yourself and (as cliche as it sounds) follow your heart. Deep down you already know you’re doing the right thing by you.
Lots of love,