Writing by Savannah Mullings-Johnson // Photograph by Tina Negara // I’ve spent the last few days really evaluating my self and my future. Where do I go from here? I gave my entire being to my job and my apprenticeship, and now I feel like I have nothing. I knew losing a job would happen to me eventually, just not right at the start of my career.
Writing by Savannah Mullings-Johnson // Photograph by Tina Negara
I hate Mondays. I always have and as I get older it seems harder and harder to get up and actually feel motivated for the week ahead. Maybe I wouldn’t feel this way if the weekend didn’t go by as fast as it does but as soon as Friday rolls around it feels like the weekend is already over.
I really hate Mondays.
Monday 22nd January 2018 is a good example of why I hate the start of the week. My day started off pretty normal, I got up at “Shit o Clock” for work and spent most of my day emailing PR’s trying to secure interviews. But at 2:30pm, my boss called me upstairs to let me know that he would not be extending my contract.
I can’t even begin to tell you the wave of emotion that came over me, I had spent the last 5 months helping him to build a brand from the ground up only to be told that it was all for nothing. The news floored me and I spent at least 40 minutes crying in the work toilets.
I’ve spent the last few days really evaluating my self and my future. Where do I go from here? I gave my entire being to my job and my apprenticeship, and now I feel like I have nothing. I knew losing a job would happen to me eventually, just not right at the start of my career. Maybe I was naive and a little too self indulgent but I really thought that I had some sense of security based on my work ethic and age.
When something like this happens to you, it’s easy to feel like you have failed your family, your friends and most importantly yourself. But that’s simply not the case, it’s not a reflection of you at all, these things happen in life and we have to learn to deal with them.
I’m a strong believer in things happening for a reason and it might sound weird but I truly believe this was meant to happen to me. I pride myself on being a strong person but have never really experienced adversity, I work hard at everything and 99% of the time I reap the benefits. But for the first time in my entire 20 years on this planet, I know what it’s like to fall down and be forced to get yourself back up.
I have wanted to be an entertainment journalist for my entire life, and I mean my entire life. I used to tell teachers aged eight that I would one day work at E!, I’ve always had the vision but just never knew how to get there… until I got my apprenticeship, being blessed with the opportunity to work at one of the biggest broadcasters in the country straight out of sixth form with ZERO uni debt.
I am part of a generation of young women who are working above and beyond to break the glass ceilings and I will be damned if I allow this experience to determine my future. Coming from a minority background meant that I already had to work 10x harder to get to where I am today, and nothing or no one will stop my vision.
This has taught me a valuable lesson; knock backs happens but it doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It’s a chance for you to grow and learn. It means you can become the person you were always meant to be and you can understand the power of your being. You are and always will be a bad ass.