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When Your Love Is Rejected

Writing by Andy Reyes // photograph by Sandra Lazzarini

Writing by Andy Reyes // photograph by Sandra Lazzarini

There are songs and poems about this. I listen to Lana Del Rey and cry for an hour.

Unrequited love is that fantasy that never happens, it’s a person’s romantic disinterest in you and it has just happened to me.

I told a person that I love him and wanted more than a friendship but the feeling was not reciprocated because he has no interest in me. Or at least, not the interest I want.

I feel hurt and ashamed, but surprisingly I also feel a great creative inspiration. I could write a few sad poems! But, I still feel empty, did I do something wrong? Wasn’t I enough for one person?

I stop eating and cry all the time, wondering how I could overcome something that never existed. I enter a fantasy land and imagine being with that person, even though, just a few days ago, he told me that I was not enough for him.

Being rejected was a strong blow to my self-esteem and my confidence but it has also helped me. Not only in my art, but also in the way I relate to people. I have stopped idealizing others and I have stopped attacking myself.

I do not regret having declared my love because I learned a lot about myself in the process. I always had the idea that if I had a partner, everything would be complete in my life. But now, I know that is not so.

I am still on the search, but now the search goes beyond a love relationship, now I am looking for a more lasting relationship and that relationship is with myself.

I know that eventually I will meet a person who loves me as I am, with my extra pounds, my acne scars and my way of being, but for now I am completely lost in myself, my thoughts now feel lighter and the crying days of the past, now feel warmer.

Andy Reyes

Andy Reyes (she/her) is a Mexican writer, columnist, and poet. She is a feminist – the women she admires the most are her grandmother and mother. She is proudly Mexican and is interested in psychology and journalism – her favorite hobbies are knitting vests, reading, and making pancakes.

Andie started writing when she was seven years old, with the purpose to understand why she suffered from school bullying, she created a narrative about her experiences at school from the perspective of animals, that is where she fell in love with writing.

Andie likes sunsets, cuddling her cat Mushu and her little dog named Coco.

Sandra Lazzarini

Sandra Lazzarini is an Italian photographer who loves flowers and photographing girls with their faces covered or with their backs to those who observe them. Find her on her website and Flickr.

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