Skip to main content

Poem by Savannah Alvarado // Photograph by Ira Limon

Poem by Savannah Alvarado //Photograph by Ira Limon

The lampshade crashes to the floor and suddenly I remember how expensive it was

Not the glass that has now turned my apartment floor into a bad mosaic

But the 20 minutes I spent standing in the store, convincing myself that it was worth it

That it was the exact same shade of yellow I felt in that dream where I met God

And whatever that meant then, at two in the afternoon, with $128.73 in my bank account

I let it be reason enough

 

When I got home later on, he asked if it was supposed to be a sun we’d revolve around late in the evening

I did not know what to say except that I could feel him gravitating away from it and us and me

And I did not know what else to do to try and bring him back other than to bring him something brighter and more beautiful and hope that, like a moth, he would kill himself to be close to it

But I did not say that

Instead, I told him that the woman working at the store said that it would look nice in our almost colorless living room

He just shook his head, told me I needed to stop believing everything I was told

He said that everyone is selling something

And in that moment, I wonder if I have bought what he is selling

 

Now, as I see the lampshade so clearly, bent and broken by the back of his hand, lying limp on the hardwood, the color does not remind me at all of dreams or God

It, instead, reminds me of the last time I lie limp on the same floor, crumpled by the same hand

And the color of the bruises when they finally began to heal

But then I think, maybe that is the same thing after all

Savannah Alvarado

Savannah Alvarado is a 15-year-old artist who first began seriously writing after discovering spoken word a few years back. Since then, poetry has become a way for her to cope with mental illness and, really, a way of life. She has branched out and draws inspiration from everything she can in life. Her biggest goals are to be authentic, and to always write the stories that need to be written, even when they may be difficult.

Leave a Reply