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Lotus Eater & Swimming in Suspension

Poem by Alyssa Bedford // Photograph by Giada Mercuri 

Poem by Alyssa Bedford // Photograph by Giada Mercuri


i wrote a poem but forgot

why or


a sun was born and a sun

died all at once and

my eyes watched, unseeing and


utterly blissful.

the heart wants what the heart

wants and

this heart wants to stop-

to float endlessly in a balmy ocean and

a warm, indifferent sky.




this morning i woke with a fish in my mouth

(of course, i was confounded at first but

considering you took my beehive, honey-heavy

heart and threw it into the lake,

and considering i haven’t been able to surface since,

it makes sense that reality would eventually

swim its way back to my tongue

and speaking of which-


do you remember what day it was

we went to the lake?

or do lakes not exist anymore?


i can’t




the water has swallowed me whole for quite

some time now-

which is to say your mouth, your hands, your

bones, your sinew, and synapses are all the

water and you’ve embedded me somewhere

in your undertow.


but oh, how sweet, how crystalline and healing and

alive you are, my love!

your visage thrashes behind my eyelids every morning,

your kisses kick in my teeth.

alive and confounded and awestruck, i am.


who knew you could find grace in a state of


who knew the whole world awaited at

the bottom of the ocean?

or that adoration tastes awfully of


Alyssa Bedford

Alyssa Bedford is a poet, writer, and muralist studying for a BSBA. She has self published a collection of poetry and has a blog at She adores reading, mountain climbing, cheesecake, The Zolas, snuggling with cats, and seeing kindness in people.

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